Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Friday, February 19, 2010

When Are Bad Habits Helpful?

Some bad habits can actually turn out to be helpful. They may cause trouble most of the time. Yet, there are those instances when they seem to fit the situation perfectly. Since most people have at least some bad habits, it is probably good that they have a helpful side.

Some people have bad habits with regards to pointing out others mistakes. They are constantly telling their friends or family members what they are doing wrong. It gets annoying and frustrating for the person being picked on. Quite a bit of resentment can build up over this.

However, there may come a time when the person will actually point out bad habits you have not been aware of before. They may stop you from making a huge mistake. You may not be inclined to fall at their feet and thank them, but you may be glad you heard their criticism nonetheless.

Procrastination is usually one of the most common bad habits. People put off doing what they know they need to do. They plan to do it, just not today. Procrastination can prove to be helpful if the situation changes. If you were planning to water your garden you might procrastinate and put it off until tomorrow. If it rains unexpectedly that night, you have saved both effort and water.

If you complain too much, people will tell you that you have too many bad habits. It does create a negative environment when someone is constantly seeing the worst in everything. However, sometimes the only times you can get anything done are when you complain.

Some bosses manage by the theory that the person that complains the loudest is the person who needs the most attention. In other words, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. When you complain in this situation, you accomplish something.

Working too hard is generally a bad habit. It is bad for your relationships and it is bad for your health. You feel that you will not succeed unless you put in overtime. Mostly, this is not true. Yet, there are times when the extra work can pay off. This is true especially if you allow yourself to indulge this bad habit for only the duration of a short project.

If you are too stubborn, you will be accused of bad habits like demanding to have things the way you see fit. You will not give in until you are satisfied that things are going as they should. This is usually a bad habit. Sometimes, though, it takes the form of tenacity. This is a positive attribute that makes it possible for you to hold on through the hardest of times.

Breaking the law almost always involves bad habits. Theft, drug peddling and use, violence, and many more bad habits come into play. On the other hand, some of the world's greatest heroes have broken the laws of their own countries.

They did it in civil disobedience of laws they deemed unjust or inhumane. The world would be a different place if these people had been afraid of having these "bad habits." That is why not all habits can be strictly labeled bad or good. It has to go by the situation.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Social Bad Habits

Having bad habits in social situations can make you a very unpopular person. You may not even know how others feel about your social blunders. However, if you are acting in ways that are not considered appropriate, people will notice.

Many bad habits can be noticed when people go out to a restaurant together. It can be a very unpleasant experience if people have certain bad habits. For instance, chewing with an open mouth can be disgusting to the person watching. When a person does this, it is a thoughtless gesture.

Some people have the bad habits of eating other peoples' food. They will just reach over and take a bite of something on their neighbor's plate. They do not consider the fact that the person might want to be asked first. They do not take into account that the person might find it repulsive to share food with someone who has already used their fork.

Loudness in a restaurant is a bad habit that is sometimes appropriate and sometimes is not. In some settings, loudness is the order of the day. In quiet restaurants, though, a person needs to leave the volume turned to a low level. They need to try to fit in with the ambience of the restaurant.

Have you ever heard someone belch, and then say "not bad manners, just good food"? Well, it is bad manners, and bad habits, too. Nobody wants to hear that, and it is not excused by an attempt at humor. Some people seem to do this every time they feel the urge without thought to how others feel.

One of the sickening bad habits people have at restaurants is blowing their noses in a cloth napkin. It is not appropriate to blow their nose at the table in the first place. When they use a cloth napkin, the waiter cannot just throw it away. It has to be handled in order to be washed and reused. It is an inconsiderate bad habit.

Some parents have bad habits when it comes to their children's public behavior. Some will let their children run through the restaurant doing as they please. They will not say a word when their children misbehave. This can spoil an otherwise nice evening.

Other parents are so harsh and critical with their children that it also destroys any chance of anyone having a good time. These are bad habits just as letting the kids be destructive are. Ideally, parents can find a middle ground.

There are also bad habits that affect the way people feel about themselves. If you are a know-it-all, a person might feel inferior to you at first. Eventually, though, it will get old and they will resent you. If you are tactless, you can hurt peoples' feelings without thinking. You do it just because you are in the habit of "telling the truth."

There are bad habits that affect the way you communicate with others in the social setting. Monopolizing the conversation may make you feel good, but others will feel unappreciated. Interrupting can be a bad habit that prevents you from developing closeness with acquaintances.

Correct your bad habits in social situations and you will find that people are friendlier with you. You will see that good habits will get you much more good attention than bad habits.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Self Help Books About Bad Habits

Bad habits can take over your life. They can make you fail at work, school, and relationships. It is important to address these issues. Self help books are great for this. Here are a few.

The 12 Bad Habits That Hold Good People Back: Overcoming the Behavior Patterns That Keep You From Getting Ahead is a book by Waldroop and Butler. This book focuses on bad habits in the workplace. It explains how you can understand your own bad habits and learn new ways to relate to people. They suggest that doing this will help you to advance and prosper in your career.

James Claiborn, Ph.D. and Cherry Pedrick, R.N. have collaborated on a book about all habits. It is called The Habit Change Workbook: How to Break Bad Habits and Form Good Ones. This book follows a cognitive-behavioral approach to bad habits. It uses psychological principles to get to the root of bad habits. Then, it goes into great detailed steps of how to break them. It also tells about a group of people who have bad habits and explains how each one is conquering theirs.

What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do: Bad Habits and Addictions is a short book on the subject by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. It offers a religious perspective to those who feel overcome by their failings. It gives advice on how to find ways out of habits and addictions.

One book is a rather heavy read on the subject of addictions. However, it does offer some sound psychological advice. It is titled Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward. The authors, James O. Prochaska, John Norcross, and Carlo DiClemente, work together to put together a system of coping with undesirable behaviors. It involves six steps, which are discussed in full.

If you have children you want to help, there is a book for you, too. It is called Good Kids, Bad Habits: The RealAge Guide to Raising Healthy Children. In it, Jennifer Tratchenberg discusses the kinds of habits children have as they are growing up. She gives insight into how these habits can follow them into later life. Then, the author helps parents set up a program that is designed specifically for their child. This will help the children to break bad habits.

Of course, what subject would be complete without an "Idiot's Guide?" Suzanne LeVert has come up with the Complete Idiot's Guide to Breaking Bad Habits. This book is a tremendous introduction on the subject of bad habits. At the same time, it does it with a sense of humor and warmth. Reading this book may not break your bad habit. However, it may put you in the right frame of mind to do it.

Self help books for breaking bad habits are very useful tools. They help those habituated to understand their problem behaviors and find ways to banish them. It always helps to have a second opinion. Reading these books on bad habits will give you advice that you would never think of on your own.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Picking Up Bad Habits from Others

You may feel that you have evaded the bad habits that many people have. That is, you feel that way until you catch yourself picking up the bad habits of others around you. The other person may pass on their habits intentionally or not, but they affect you all the same.

You can pick up bad habits from others in the way they eat. If you spend enough time around a person, you will often begin to eat the same way. It is just easier to make one meal and split it. It is easier to go to one restaurant instead of stopping at two. If that restaurant happens to have only greasy foods, you will end up eating things you would not otherwise eat. You are picking up your companion's bad habits.

Smoking cigarettes is another bad habit you can easily pick up from other people. You sit in the room with your companion evening after evening as they puff away. You gradually either get very sick from it, or you get used to it. You may even come to enjoy it. That is when you are in danger of picking up the bad habit.

Fighting is a bad habit that many couples get into in a relationship. Your spouse may start a fight. You may have no intention of getting into the argument. You may get up to walk away from it. However, your spouse may not let you go. A fight ensues and pretty soon, you are both in it. This may go on over and over until it becomes a bad habit.

In the workplace, carelessness seems to be contagious. If one crew member is irresponsible with the heavy equipment, his attitude can contaminate the attitudes of the other workers. Before you know it, they all have bad habits at work.

Also, if one employee gets in the bad habit of telling everything he knows, the habit can spread. If one tells information about his pay, soon they all will. If one tells private company business, the gossip mill will start churning. The bad habits can get out of control.

If you have the bad habit of practicing one-upmanship, you can lead others to pick up the bad habit from you. A person tells something they did, and suddenly you are telling the better thing you did. Some people will fall into the trap of following your lead and trying to one-up you. This can go on ad infinitum.

Pessimistic people have the bad habit of looking on the negative side of everything. This can rub off on anyone who spends a good deal of time with them. You can only hear about the worst things in life so long before it has an affect on you. You may be next to predict bad times ahead.

Of course, you cannot blame the other person for your choice. That is all up to you. If you want to avoid the bad habits of others, you can do it if you stay strong. Remember that you do not have to always conform to those around you.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Irritating Bad Habits

Some bad habits can irritate the people around you. These habits can grate on peoples' nerves until they feel like physically stopping you themselves. Some of them are nervous habits and others are thoughtless behaviors.

Some bad habits have to do with shopping. You can really irritate someone if you have the bad habit of following their car to a parking space and waiting with your car close behind. This makes them feel rushed, and it may make it hard for them to get out. By the time the leave they will be very irritated.

You might display bad habits when you get in line to check out at the store. If you cut in line, everyone behind you will be annoyed with you. You make them later, and you give the impression that you are more important than they are.

Sometimes people have bad habits when it comes to what line they choose. They may get in the express line where you are only supposed to have 15 items. They may get in that line with 30. Some people will get in the express line with a whole cartful. It irritates people who want to use the express line for just one or two items and have to wait for you.

There are many nervous bad habits that irritate. Some people crack their knuckles. This sound can in turn get on other peoples' nerves. It is worse for the one listening because they do not know when the next crack of the knuckles will happen.

Rhythmic behaviors are also bad habits to get into if they are not related to the arts. These are behaviors such as tapping a pencil, tapping your feet, or drumming your fingers on a desk. These behaviors often occur when a person is in a stressful situation.

They can be detrimental to you or others. If you tap your pencil when taking a test, it can distract others and keep them from doing well on the exam. If you drum your fingers on your boss's desk, it will make you look bad. You might lose yourself a promotion.

People can irritate with other noise-producing bad habits. Grinding your teeth can irritate others. Clicking your teeth can do it also. Smacking your lips can annoy. Any extraneous noise that you make repetitively with your body can be an irritating bad habit.

Other sound-related bad habits annoy, too. Popping your chewing gum can drive other people to nearly mad with exasperation. If you regularly leave your faucets dripping it is an irritation that they must take care of themselves if you will not. They may find themselves following you around, shutting off faucets. They will not be happy.

Another bad habit is letting your dogs bark at the top of their lungs all night long every night. Sometimes there is a reason and it cannot be helped. However, there is usually a solution to this problem that will be better for the dogs. At the same time, it will make the neighbors' nights more restful.

It is usually hard to break irritating habits. Often, people are not even quite aware that they are doing these behaviors. Yet, if they try, they can make themselves alert to their irritating bad habits. They can do wonders for the nerves of those around them if they can stop.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Inconsiderate Bad Habits

Some bad habits are just plain inconsiderate. The person does their behaviors without a thought to the person he is affecting. A little attention to the feelings of others would stop many of these bad habits in their tracks.

Many people have inconsiderate bad habits in the kitchen. You will find them drinking from the milk jug or juice carton. They do not consider that someone else might not like to drink after them. They are in the habit of doing it, so they do not think about it.

Someone might have the bad habit of opening two liter bottles of pop and leaving the caps off. This is inconsiderate to the person buying the soda because the soda goes flat. No one will drink it. It is also a bad habit to open carbonated drink cans and drink a few swallows only. Many people will do this and then right away open another.

The refrigerator is a source of trouble in some homes. People have certain bad habits there, too. They might take food out of the refrigerator and leave it on the counter to spoil. They may simply stand in front with the door open, staring as all the cold rushes out.

If you have an older refrigerator, they may have bad habits about not filling ice cube trays, and leaving them in the freezing compartment empty. Some people have bad habits of freeloading. They will clean your refrigerator out of food in no time at all if you do not watch them. They will take food when they have been offered none, and when they are offered some, they will take more.

Sometimes people staying with you, or living with you as roommates, will do some cooking. If they have bad habits and do not clean up their messes, you will not appreciate the food they cook no matter how good it is. After awhile, you will just wish they would stop cooking altogether.

Other bad habits have to do with the bathroom. Sometimes, people hog the bathroom. They will not leave time for anyone else to get in to use it. You may need to go to work the same time as they do. If they do not let you get in to get ready, they will be on time and you will be the one who is late. That is very inconsiderate.

Men have been told forever, it seems that their bad habits of leaving the toilet seat up are inconsiderate. They do not realize that a woman, not expecting the seat to be up, can actually get injured by falling in too hard. It is not a pleasant subject, and it is not a pleasant thing to happen.

Other bad habits involve vehicles. You might be in the habit of leaving your car windows down. If you are accustomed to this, you will be ready to put them up if you know rain is coming. However, if you leave someone else's windows down, they may not be prepared. Also, it is a bad habit to borrow a car and not put gas in it.

If you think of other people every day, you will be less likely to engage in inconsiderate bad habits. You will find that you are appreciated more if you find ways to control your behaviors and curb your bad habits.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Financial Bad Habits

It is easy to get into bad habits with financial matters. Few people have enough money to simply buy what they want without a thought. Most people have to plan their purchases and stay vigilant to keep themselves solvent.

Many people have bad habits of getting too far in debt with credit cards. The cards are easy to get. You can get a handful of Visas and Master Cards, an American Express Card, a Discovery Card, and several cards from retail stores without much effort. You do not have to have much income to get this many cards, either.

None of the card companies seem to consider that you might have to pay payments to the other cards. You may think you have all these cards just for emergencies. However, if you get into bad habits with them, you can end up spending them to their limits. You may reach a point where you cannot even make the minimum monthly payments.

You might be tempted to borrow money from relatives at a time like this, but that would be just another of type of bad habits. Relatives may want to help you for a time. They may allow you to get into the bad habit of going to them each time you need money. Yet, there will come a day when the money will run out, or the situation will get old. The relative will not only discontinue the loans. They might stop speaking to you as well.

When it comes to friends, both borrowing and lending money are bad habits. It puts a strain on the relationship that many friends cannot handle. One friend might forget how much was borrowed. Yet, there may be animosity if a written contract is suggested. You can rarely win when you get into this bad habit.

Many people get into trouble financially because the have the bad habit of not sitting down to make a budget. They have a general idea of where the money should go. They may think they have it all in their brains. It never quite comes together, though, unless you put it on paper (or on a spreadsheet on a computer). Only then will you know you have everything included.

Most utility companies have a certain grace period before they will cut off service. Some people count on this grace period and get into bad habits when it comes to paying their utility bills. If you do this you put yourself in jeopardy of losing your lights or water. You also destroy your credit rating.

Some financial bad habits have to do with the way people manage their checking accounts. One thing people often do is to throw away paperwork they get when making transactions. Of course, there is a time to throw it away. Yet, until it is recorded into your account, you need to keep deposit, ATM, and debit slips to verify that the correct amount was taken out.

Some people even have the bad habits of not reconciling their checking accounts. If they want to do internet banking with a software program like Microsoft Money or Quicken, they can make it very easy on themselves. It is important to be sure that your account has in it what you think it should. For one thing, there is no better way to catch fraud. Taking charge of your money habits can make your life less stressful and more productive.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Emotional Bad Habits

The question of whether moods constitute bad habits is an interesting one. Many mood disorders have been identified. These and other psychological problems are seen by some as strictly bad habits.

In fact, it has been shown that continuing to dwell in your present mood perpetuates it. When you decide to pretend you are happy, studies show that you may actually improve your mood in time. This is not a hard and fast rule, but there is some indication that people do have some control over their moods.

Moodiness, for example, may be more than bad habits for many. It may be bipolar disorder or some other psychiatric problem. However, for some it may just be that they are giving in to every feeling that comes along. They have the bad habits of not trying to have any control over their whims.

Being pessimistic is one of the bad habits that can also be seen as a symptom of depression. Yet, for many, it is just a habit of thought. They may tell themselves that pessimism is a win-win way of thinking.

If things go right, you win. If things go wrong, you were correct, so you win. These people can improve their moodiness by looking at the positive side of things in the beginning.

Being in a worrying mood is similar to being pessimistic. The difference between the two bad habits is that when you worry, you become obsessed and dread upcoming events. If you have the bad habit of worrying, you can slowly train yourself out of it, especially if you have the right kind of help.

Codependency is not exactly a mood, but it is an emotional state. It is a set of bad habits that encourages a loved one to do harmful behavior. You do not want your son to be an alcoholic, for example.

However, you constantly make excuses for his behavior to others. If you want him to get better, you have to stand up and decide to stop with your bad habits. You have to hold him accountable for his actions.

If you have hypochondria, you have an emotionally painful bad habit. Certainly, a person with hypochondria needs psychological help. However, the treatment that person will receive will probably center on helping them change their bad habits of thought. They will learn new ways to think about illness and their own bodies. This will give them some control over their emotions.

If you do a lot of attention seeking, you have bad habits that you can learn to abandon. This could relate back to something in your past. Perhaps, you were ignored as a child because there was some other needier person in the home. You learned bad habits of getting attention by annoying means. Taming this bad habit requires acknowledgement of it, and possibly professional help.

Bad habits that relate to emotional states are often hard to break. Sometimes you need help to overcome them if you cannot do it on your own. The sooner you stop doing your emotional bad habits, the happier your life will be.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Bad Habits in Relationships

People often come to relationships with bad habits when it comes to getting along with another person. They may have every intention of making a relationship work, but ingrained trends stop them from truly connecting. There are many such bad habits.

Jealousy plagues many otherwise good relationships. A boyfriend might always suspect his girlfriend of going around with other men. Or, it could be more subtle. A woman may suspect that her husband is constantly looking for another female to take her place. In either case, the jealous person may have nothing real to worry about. This is when it gets to be nothing more than a bad habit.

Selective hearing is another problem that becomes a bad habit in relationships. People do not pay attention to each other's needs. One person will try to explain something that is important to them, and the other will say, "yes, yes," but will not really hear.

Then, when the first person says something the second person is interested in, suddenly they are in the conversation completely. This fosters feelings of hostility, and is one of the relationship bad habits that can wear a couple down over time.

People can develop bad habits in long relationships if they lean too much on the other person. They can depend so much on the other person that they lose the ability to take care of themselves. A person in a relationship may become irresponsible at work because of it. They may feel that they are taken care of anyway, so it does not matter. These bad habits can take over every aspect of their lives.

Some couples fall into bad habits in their fighting. All healthy couples will disagree from time to time. Where bad habits come in is the way the arguments are conducted. One partner may have the bad habit of yelling at the top of her lungs.

Another partner may throw dishes instead. Still another may bring up old arguments to try to hurt the other person. All these are bad habits in relationships because they are not productive forms of disagreement.

Many people in relationships get into the bad habits of nagging their partners. This has often been portrayed as a women's fault. However, men do it too. Sometimes, both parties in the relationship will nag each other. That makes for a very unhealthy relationship.

Blaming comes with its own price. This is a bad habit that erodes a relationship if it goes on too long. One person may be taking all the blame. In this case, that person's self esteem can get to a very low point.

Other times, people can blame each other. If this happens, the usual result is a disconnect between the two partners. They do not want to be involved with someone who does not accept responsibility.

If you want to have a healthy relationship, you need to purge yourself of your bad habits. The sooner you learn what you and your partner need to stay together, the better your bond will be.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Avoiding Bad Habits

Would it not be nice if you could avoid bad habits instead of having to quit them after starting? No one will avoid all bad habits. There are just too many to stay away from them all. Yet, you can reduce the number of bad habits you have to conquer.

There are certain bad habits that you can avoid altogether. Your body has no need for nicotine or tar from cigarettes. So, if you do not take that first cigarette, you will never have to face the daunting task of giving them up. It is well worth any social discomfort you might feel to dodge that bullet.

Other bad habits are a matter of degree. Your body needs food. Many people realize that they will gain a lot of weight if they do not take action. However, you cannot just stop eating altogether. You could for awhile, but that would not be healthy either. Instead you must find a way to limit yourself.

To avoid the bad habits involved in letting yourself become overweight, you need to think differently. You can do this by thinking of food as a special treat that you only get at certain times. You can eat like a thin person-picking out the best part and leaving the rest. There are a host of different thinking patterns you can take on to avoid getting fat.

Not exercising is another of the bad habits that will make you gain weight. You may know that you need to get up and move around. You may have every intention to do so. The energy does not seem to be there when you need it. To avoid this bad habit, start slowly. What you may not realize is that the energy will increase as your exercise increases.

Bad habits of personal hygiene can be avoided by developing a positive routine. If you fear going out in public smelling bad, you can make it a habit to shower every morning. Shower more than once a day if the situation calls for it. Brush your teeth and comb your hair. If you are just starting out on your own, you could even make a list. After all, you are probably past those teen years when everyone else made sure you were decent.

Relationships are difficult enough without developing bad habits. If you are getting married, make a point of discussing all the possible trouble areas first. You can do this with a pre-marriage counselor or on your own. Either way, it is good to learn how you each can contribute to keeping away the bad habits of jealousy or neglect.

Many bad habits can be avoided if you will only consider the needs of yourself and of others equally. Putting yourself first at all times makes you selfish and hard to abide. Putting others first all the time just makes you a doormat.

For every bad habit, there is a way to avoid it. The trouble is that no one can be vigilant enough to control that many behaviors. What is more, many bad habits start before people are old enough to think much about it. If you want to, though, you can pass up some of them.